The Knight
Once upon a time, there was a mighty knight, ok ok, he was not a knight, yet I wanted to start the story like this. He was a bold 33-year-old man, not a boy anymore, and entirely responsible for himself and his life. Thanks to social media, he reconnected with his former teacher. He had always felt some attraction for her. Things were different, and the ten-year gap did not affect his will. He saw in her profile and stories that she was single again, doing nice hikes, traveling, eating out, and taking pictures of places and people. He sent her a direct message on one of her stories with a great view and suggested that she could visit the highest peak of that mountain. She answered that she had never done this trial, and he said they could go together. So, there it was, a soft inoffensive move to catch up after fifteen years of not seeing each other.
He was a total gentleman with his messages, letting her know what she needed to pack and dress and when he would pick her up early in the morning. He was sharp on time, and off they went. During the walk, he was attentive and offered a hand for her to be safe; he cared as he asked about her life and ventures and listened to her with attention, not just hearing, yet really understanding, and made his honest comments about it. She was slower than him yet he patiently waited for her to catch a breath and continue. As they reached the peak, he spotted a nice place with the most spectacular view and took out of his backpack water, fruit, a bar, and even a dessert. They embraced in a great, deep conversation. Just as you have with an excellent friendly flight passenger, you can tell everything about without feeling judged. After that, he started taking pictures of the fantastic view and offered to take some for her. He enjoyed taking photographs, and she loved posing for them. He liked how she followed his instructions and was proud of the great shots he took. Time flew. It was time to go. They started the journey down, and as he was driving to take her back, he proposed they meet sometime for dinner. She accepted. He said goodbye to her, not making any kind of moves and said he would text her later to organize.
Text messaging began. He asked how she felt at night after the long hike and daily had a conversation with her talking about his day and asking about hers. He felt different in his messages because she was not so much into texting as with other girls. This was something appealing to him. The day of the dinner came, and he ordered a nice meal and started sharing his tips on taking good pictures of food. She was delighted to hear about it because she was also interested in this. As the dinner went on, they started talking about their passion for traveling. At the same time, he was careful to see her needs; if her drink were about to finish, he would offer if she would like another one. She gracefully accepted his gentle gestures. He wanted her to feel safe and taken care of around him. He suddenly felt the need to. Not because someone was asking him to do so it was because inside of him, there was a feeling of happiness and contentment around her. He liked how she smiled, how she talked, and especially how he felt in her company. Dinner finished, and again not a physical move was made on his part. He only offered his arm for her to go down the stairs and kiss her on the cheek goodbye.
The next day he felt energized. He was eager to tell her all about his life. He told her when he woke up, how many kilometers he had run, and what he had for breakfast. Later at work, he took a video of his corner office and showed the different souvenirs he had acquired in his travels. He wanted to share himself, and she did the same with him. He proposed to see each other again, but her weekly schedule was busy, and the date had to wait until the following weekend. As he picked her up for their date, he knew this was the day he would make a move. He was nervous yet still managed to keep his cool and an eye on her wishes at the dinner. He couldn´t help it anymore. He made a bold move at the table, and beyond all rational thinking, he grabbed his hand. She took his hand, looked him in the eye, and continued the conversation. Both were on the same page. From there, it went on smoothly and gracefully. He enjoyed being around her and making her smile.
Months went by, and suddenly his mind started to ask essential questions. First, how would his family and friends think he was dating someone older than him? They did not know much about their connection or equal enjoyment of adventure, food, music, and life. But they would know the differences, the age gap, how different her friends look from their other lively friends his age, the fact that she already has kids, and how he could forget the idea of getting kids of his own, etc. Questions made by his closest ones were like bullets that hurt and wounded his heart. Yet it was a battle he was losing. He was full of doubt, not sure, and uncertain. What is it? Mind shouting, heart shutting.
Suddenly his thoughts were overwhelming. They were rambling around his head, and he could not get rid of them. The ideas that surrounded him made him cry. He mourned his loss. He knew it was a difficult battle, but he had to think in his strategic planning. The mind told him, “I know more than your heart; you want other things.” His heart said, “I like her, her spirit, her joy, her way, and how I feel around her.” The mind answered, “Yes, I know, yet there are other things besides love.” The heart starts to weep and recognizes that the bullets have done their injuries and decides it is better to move away from what could maybe bring a bright new love in the universe. He took his decision. His heart shut down. Unavailable heart. The knight continues his quest for gold.